There have been many years where I questioned my worth as a woman. Am I able to accomplish the goals I set for myself? Am I beautiful enough? Do I display the strength to be the woman God knows I can be? These are some of the questions that I ask myself. As women, we have expectations from our family, friends, and jobs. Not to mention the unrealistic standards that society holds us to. No matter what walk of life you come from, one thing that women have in common is at one point you question your worth. My self-worth has been a reflection of how confident I am. I am learning to no longer allow myself to be my biggest obstacle. I have a few tips that I use to help me look in the mirror and love the woman looking back.
What is self-worth? Many people base their self-worth on their accomplishments or how they are perceived by their peers. However, your self-worth is how you value yourself; it comes from within. It’s easy for us to allow others to have power over our self perception. Social media has played a part in the societal standard. It is easy to compare yourself to others. You are unique and when you don’t allow yourself to see your full potential, it’s crippling. You can miss out on opportunities to better your career or your wellness of life. Don’t allow yourself to stop you from being better than who you were yesterday.
Learn Positive Affirmations
Negative thought patterns are hard to shake. Once you get into the habit of thinking you can’t get that promotion or you aren’t skinny enough, it consumes you. You learn that the only way to beat negativity is to counter it with positivity. The moment you feel the onset of a negative thought, counter it with a positive one. I take things a step further and use post-it notes to write words of affirmation on my vanity mirror. Every morning I can read them to myself to start my day. It helps me get into the habit of putting out good energy into the universe. It can benefit you when you have important things to do like a job interview or a presentation. Whatever you put out into the universe you get back and it all starts with your thoughts.
Protect Your Circle
Analyze your friendships and your connection with family members. Toxicity is real and a lot of times we have a few individuals in our lives who are putting us down. How about that friend who won’t support you or that cousin all about drama? What about that guy who doesn’t respect you? These are just examples of how the people in your life can display red flags. These red flags can affect your emotions and cause you stress. Do the people in your life motivate you to do better and be better? If not, think about building strong genuine connections with like-minded people. Finding people who share the same common interests can help you empower yourself and others. You are not responsible for the version people manifest of you. Your self-esteem is only as strong as the people who you allow into your circle.
Body Language
Growing up I had this habit of walking with my head down. I would have strangers stop me and tell me to walk with my head up. I was just a teenage girl and at the time I didn't understand the importance of how you carry yourself. Everyone has heard of the mantra “fake it til you make it” and sometimes it works. People can sense if you’re insecure, your personality traits, and your confidence levels all by your body language. When you want to exude confidence, your non-verbal communication is just as important as your verbal. In a social setting, make sure that you have good posture and you make eye contact. Have good clear pronunciation and face your entire body to whomever you’re speaking with. People will take notice that you are confident and you will be comfortable.
Mental Health
Mental health is important and unfortunately it’s a topic that's not discussed too often. It is the difference between whether or not you love yourself. It determines your ability to be happy and not rely on others to do it for you. Focus on your strengths and do what you’re good at to help you build confidence. Find ways to express yourself. The biggest thing you can do to help your mental health is to not bottle things inside. You can use a friend or a journal to blow off some steam. Do things for yourself. Smile, laugh, and do what you enjoy. Try meditation or prayer. This can ultimately help improve your state of mind.
The mind is a powerful thing and it can benefit you to have control over your emotional well-being. Your self-worth is not defined by how many Instagram likes you have or if the person you’re interested in likes you back. Society teaches us that these temporary things are vital, but that should not determine your happiness or how you view yourself. Self love and confidence starts from the thoughts you create. Make sure you learn to make them positive because it will be beneficial in the long run.
Article written by Shamekia J. Jamison
Excellent and inspiring